Fear, shame, depression, comparison, anxiety… they all like to hide in darkness. They like to get you alone so they can easily overpower you.

Well I think that’s crap. I think those things can go right on back to where they came from, thank you very much. When we can expose the things that try to steal our joy, we allow light in. When we open that door, we allow others in to help us fight our battles. There is nothing weak about an army fighting together.

This was on my worst night in the midst of chemo. I was so sick I had to sit in the shower every hour just to ease the nausea and body aches. Y’all I’m not talking about 2-3 showers, I’m talking like 12-14 showers. Like Colorado probably wants to fine me for wasting so much water kinda night.

My nurses say I’m a pretty crier, but that’s probably because they haven’t seen me cry at home. I broke down in this moment, and that’s okay. We can’t be strong all the time. But we can break down without being broken. Fear, shame, depression, comparison, anxiety… they don’t get to win. We are in this life together for a reason: to help each other.

I always shut my door at night when I go to bed, but on this particular night, I left it open. Heidi slept outside my door on the couch. Just by being there, she helped me make it through one of my hardest nights.

So if you come to a moment like me where all you can say is, “I hate this,” open the door and let the light in. Don’t fight it alone in the dark. There is so much good sitting on the other side of that door.